30.9.19

El rap de la Gestió de Projectes


Això que he trobat és una joia, una autèntica joia. I he pensat compartir-ho amb vosaltres.

Es tracta d'un rap que s'ha inventat el Chris Croft en el que, basant-se en la seva experiència, ha intentat resumir els punts més importants a tenir en compte per gestionar projectes. Tot i que, per descomptat, ho ha plantejat com una broma, el contingut és 100% acurat i cert a més no poder. Així que feu-li cas i no deixeu de seguir les instruccions d'aquest rap de la Gestió de Projectes!



Aquí us deixo la lletra, que trobareu traduïda de manera automàtica en aquest enllaç.

Step one is to be clear about what we all need
Have a kick off meeting until everyone agrees then get it down in writing so they cannot change their minds
We all have to agree, on the Quality, the cost and time
But you can't have them all, so which one is the top?
Ask 'why' 'what if' and trade till you know which two can flop
Don't say maybe-you-can, when really you cannot
Always have a plan before your head is on the block
And use a plan to argue because planning makes you stronger
I've got to move on, - this rap is getting longer!
Project Management
Make a plan before you start
Project Management
Always have a Gantt chart


Step two is get a list of all the tasks you need to do
Ask an expert and brainstorm to hear your team's view a work breakdown structure
- is really just a tree - but how small should you go? -
that's granularitee (break it down, break it down)
(break it down, break it down)
Project Management
Make a plan before you start
Project Management
Always have a Gantt chart


Step 3 is to estimate the cost and how long,
Never promise the best because something will go wrong
Later on you'll find yourself moving like a snail
If you quote the average you've a 50/50 chance to fail
Promise half the way between average and the worst
then you've got a 90-10 (that) your bubble won't be burst
Project Management
Make a plan before you start
Project Management
Always have a Gantt chart


Atep 4 is get the whiteboard with the post it's on
Clarify the order, in which they come
Do it as a team and involve everyone
It's only 20 minutes and it's verging on fun
Then find the longest route With the time on each task
You cannot do it quicker Than the critical path
Never say the O-word or a kitten will die
The task is too big and the o-word is a sign
You must break it into parts with a finish and a start
Now your plan is better you could even call it SMART
It's never too late, to granulate
No it's never too late, to granulate
Project Management
Make a plan before you start
Project Management
Always have a Gantt chart


Step 5 is if the finish date is going to be too late
then you take the longest path and you give it some haste
you put in some more people or you take out quality
or you overlap some stuff - which can be risky
Project Management
Make a plan before you start
Project Management
Always have a Gantt chart


Step 6 is make a Gantt chart, probly with Excel
Starting with the longest path, the floating tasks as well
Some times they have to share the float, or one hangs from the next
Move them back or forwards, till your Gantt chart is the best
What's so great about this thing dreamed up by Henry Gantt?
First it shows the people how they all fit in the plan
Next it tells you when you're busy - too much in one month!
And lastly if you colour in you'll see if you're keeping up
Project Management
Make a plan before you start
Project Management
Always have a Gantt chart


Step 7 is to add the work and see if you'll survive
Maybe all your projects - some may have to slide
It's a cube of people projects and the time
Best to know you have the resource on your side
Project Management
Plan before you start
Project Management
Always have a Gantt chart


Step 8 is the last bit of the planning and it's brisk
How likely are the problems and how deadly is the risk?
Think of all the pitfalls that could maybe come to you
Plan to stop them happening and if they happen what d'you do?
Project Management
Plan before you start
Project Management
Always have a Gantt chart


Step 9 is to start the project - colour in your Gantt
Have a meeting every month and see if you're on plan
Without this you'll never know, whether you're behind
or when you're going to finish - you know you're flying blind
It only takes a minute, to see what's going on
in the words of mighty Marvin: what is going on? what's going on, what's going on
Project Management
Plan before you start
Project Management
Always have a Gantt chart


Step 10 is where you watch the money - are you overspent?
What's the meaning of the numbers you keep getting sent?
If you think you're under budget then you're probly running late you also need to know: your predicted spending rate
The Gantt chart tells you what you've done and what that should have cost
Are you heading for the DPZ where everything is lost?
Project Management
Plan before you start
Project Management
Always have a Gantt chart


Step 11's where you ask for more money and more time
Don't confess too late, but halfway get it realigned
Ask for plenty coz for seconds they will be most disinclined
Coz of all the change to plans, that's the biggest crime
Project Management
Plan before you start
Project Management
Gantt chart!


Step 12 is when you've finished and you have a nice review
Have a curry afterwards with the entire crew
What was good that we can keep and thanks for what they did
What was bad that we must dodge and what could we increase
Now that we have perfect hind sight shared with everyone
Keep it in a folder for the projects still to come

Project Management Plan - before you start

Project Management Gantt chart!